Having friends when you have anxiety.

Outside my mom, my boyfriend and my son, I consider four people my best friends. They are all very different people and they are my best friends for different reasons, but I love them all the same.

The first I've known for what seems like eternity. I can't remember a time when she wasn't in my life. Looking at us from the outside, it's true that opposites attract. She is very strong and independent. She isn't afraid to tell it like it is, even if it might hurt your feelings. Maybe that's just to me because we've been friends for so long that it literally doesn't matter what we say to each other. She's about to be a mom for the first time, and I couldn't be more stoked. We've gone through so many things together, including parents getting divorced and having siblings that were mistaken for our children on more than one occasion. Now we get to experience motherhood together.

The next, I have known for a shorter period of time but that doesn't make our bond any less important. We may not be the closest in the sense of hanging out all the time and talking constantly, but we're always there for each other. I recently had to call her late at night for a favor, on a holiday, and she was there. Then she stayed up for another hour and a half and talked to me through my anxiety. She's getting married in less than two months and I couldn't be more thrilled for her.

The third, I've known for an even shorter time but she is still just as amazing as the last two. She's an amazing mother to a beautiful little girl who I love like she's my own child. She has been there for me through so many ups and downs and I don't know what I would do without her. She's also getting married, but that's a little ways away. Which, thank God, because I'm up to my neck in party planning right now. Kidding. I love you.

Last but never least is the one I've known the shortest amount of time. She's family but that doesn't stop her from being one of my best friends. We weren't really close until the last couple of years. We were at different stages in our lives as she's a few years older than me. But then I got pregnant. And she got pregnant six weeks and one day later. Now we both have wonderful boys who have been best friends since the womb, and she has a daughter and step son that I adore. She is literally the sweetest person I've ever met. We've also worked in close, stressful quarters together for almost a year, so that helps.

All of these women are people that I love and would do anything for. I would figuratively kill for them. I mean, I love you guys, but I'm not going to prison to be Bertha's bitch.

The thing is, when you have anxiety, it's easy to forget that people love you. It's easy to forget that people care about you the way you care about them. It's easy to tell yourself that they have too much stuff going on in their life and they don't care about your shit. It's easy to push people away when they don't care about you. These women haven't let me do that to them, and I love them for that.

Let's call these ladies "C", ":K", "H" and "M". I'm sure whoever reads this knows who they are, but for the sake of their privacy I'm not going to use names.

Today I got a text from H asking if I've heard from K about Saturday. Saturday is C's baby shower so I had no idea what she was talking about and started freaking out that I had made other plans when I have this baby shower. She said K wanted to do wedding stuff and I said I had the baby shower and figured it was left at that. Then H did the thing that makes her one of my best friends. She called me out. She said I had been acting distant lately and asked if I was okay. It made me want to cry that she had even noticed. When you have anxiety and depression, you push people away. You may not even be consciously doing it. I wasn't, but when I thought back on it, I realized it had happened. But she didn't let me get away. She wanted to make sure I was okay. When my depression was telling me that no one would care if I went away, she proved it wrong.

M also has pretty bad anxiety. Some shitty stuff has happened this week and she's had to miss a lot of work. I won't go into details but I will say that she and her baby have been sick. I may have mentioned that we work in a daycare. Sure, we have substitutes but it's easier to be with someone who knows the kids routines and what calms them down and stuff. She called me after 11 pm to ask if I would go in for her tomorrow, and I had already been planning on offering because some more bad stuff happened tonight and I know she's stressed out and very upset. She must have apologized 50 times in our 5 minute phone conversation. But the thing is, I didn't even think twice about it. I just want her to take care of herself and her baby and get better.

That's the entire point of this post. I didn't even think twice. The people who care about you, truly care about you, will drop everything just to be there for you. Each of these women have been there for me in different, but equally important ways. I am thankful that I even know these women. They are so important to me and I love them all so, so very much.

So just remember: the people that you love, love you just as much. They're not too busy for you. They'll make the time. Reach out. It's a good thing, believe me.