Today, my baby grew up.

I work in a daycare in the infant room. It's a pretty sweet deal. I get paid more than normal daycares pay, plus I get free tuition. I also get to be with my kid, which is pretty awesome, right? Well, it's awesome until they move into the toddler room. When you've been with them almost every second of every day for over a year, it's hard.
Today, my baby grew up. He moved to the toddler room. He cried for two hours after drop off. It didn't help that I went in like twenty minutes after drop off to get something out of his diaper bag that I needed. Or that I popped in forty minutes after that to make sure they got his diaper change down, since he's cloth diapered.
Two hours. He cried for two hours. There were times when I couldn't hear him, like when they went outside and played in the water. I'm sure he was happy then. He was fine when they had lunch, he slept great, and was fine upon waking up. He adjusted. It will get easier.
It will probably get easier for me too, at least that's what I'm telling myself. When he cried for those two hours, I almost had an anxiety attack. I almost broke down crying myself, all day long. When he came back into my room, he gave me the longest, sweetest hug ever. Then he got down and played with his friends. He's a pretty independent kid. I love that about him. As long as he feels safe, he just does his thing.
We also had a new baby start today. He's just seven weeks old and is an absolute sweetie. I basically spent all day snuggling him. My mom also brought in bubba's swing to use in the class. We turned it, and the music on, and memories flooded back like I had opened the gates.
I remember, being so exhausted and confused and absolutely starving. Bubba was less than a week old. It may have been our first night home from the hospital. He had been up, and screaming, since three in the morning. It was nine in the morning when I finally told him that he had to cry it out for a minute because mommy was starving to death. I put him in his swing, turned the music on, and walked out of the room. In less than a minute, he stopped screaming. I thought I hadn't fastened him right and he had fallen out and died and that's why he stopped crying. I ran back faster than I thought I could with very sore nether regions. That's when I saw him. He was listening. Listening contentedly to the music, then drifted off slowly into a sweet little sleep. I watched him sleep for what felt like hours before finally falling asleep myself.

So today was a rough day. He moved up, proving that he's a big boy, but I am holding on to the notion that he is still small. When did he grow up, and how did I not notice? When did he stop smelling like a baby and start smelling like a boy? Seriously, he smells like sweat and dirt and water and outside. But you see, my mom taught me a trick. If you get just the right spot on the back of their neck, you can still smell the baby smell. So while he drifted off to sleep tonight, I buried my face in his neck and inhaled his tiny baby smell. He might be a big boy now, but he'll always be my baby.