Excuse my language, but it's true. I fucking hate it. Anyone with anxiety will tell you the same thing. No one likes being anxious 24/7 about literally nothing. If anyone tells you differently, they're delusional.
It's like being sick, but all the time. It makes it to the point that you can't function in your everyday life. Do you want to know how many anxiety attacks I've had today? Four. Do you wanna know why? Me too. Absolutely no idea what brought it on. I was sitting in the rocking chair at work, feeding a bottle to one of the babies and all of a sudden I was overtaken with anxiety and got extremely depressed. I finished feeding the baby, and went into the bathroom and had an anxiety attack. The next ones make more sense. I was anxious about asking people to stay for me so I could go home, so I ended up having an anxiety attack while asking. Then I was anxious about the possibility of my mom being upset with me for coming home, so I had an anxiety attack on the drive home. Then when I got home, my mom said for me to take bubba upstairs and take a nap with him as he was already asleep. I don't know what caused the anxiety attack right before I fell asleep, but I do know that it led me to take a four hour nap.
That's the thing no one tells you about anxiety attacks. They're thoroughly exhausting. Actually, no one really tells you anything about anxiety attacks. Or anxiety. Because the stigma behind mental illness is so ingrained. But I'm not gonna do that. I'm here to talk about my depression and anxiety and dealing with all that shit as a single mom, because it's not easy and everyone needs all the support you can get when dealing with this.
So today, I had four anxiety attacks. I've been awake for half an hour and I feel another one coming on. Today I'm on the ground. Tomorrow, with any luck, I'll be back on top of the monkey bars.
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