My tiniest boy.

Do you ever have those moments where it just hits you that your kid isn't a baby any more? Those are frequent as of late. It's becoming my new normal to suddenly be hit with how BIG my boy is. My friends and I were talking last night about all the "fun" things about labor (I'm gonna pause here and let you picture my best friend with one of those diaper-pads wrapped around her, showcasing how it really does go from belly button to bum. It was hilarious.) and it just kinda hit me that it was over a year ago. I've found videos of bubba kicking the hell out of me when I was pregnant, and I've looked at his newborn pictures a thousand times just wondering where all the time went. Who said my tiniest boy could grow up? Because I sure as hell didn't.

This is the human being that my body formed. He grew, safely, inside my body for 39 weeks. At 8:55 pm on April 18, 2014, he came into this world. I remember so many of the details like it was yesterday (I'll save my birth/post-partum story for another time) and maybe that's why it hits me so suddenly. It seems like just yesterday I was looking at his wrinkled face for the first time. Then, he sat up around four months. Crawled at six. Pulled up and cruised on the same day he crawled. Mastered going up stairs at seven months. Then started talking steps. He was steadily walking at nine months. And now, at just over a year, people think he's a two year old. Because he walks so well, he isn't afraid of anything. Seriously, nothing. I've got to get a video of this kid climbing fake rock walls. He has no fear. And now... Now he's speaking. And not just a few words. He could say "mama" and "dada" at six months. I believe his next word was "please" because he knows he doesn't get anything without saying please and thank you. But now he's speaking in sentences. "I did it", "no I'm not", "I get out?", "I go?" are just a few that absolutely floored me. He's saying more and more words and phrases every day and all I want is to slow down time. I want more hours in a day. I want to be home with him all the time. It's a little hard to go to work knowing that I don't get to hear his tiny voice for about six hours. But it's all part of him growing up.

The thing is, though... I don't want him to grow up. I want him to stay my tiniest boy. Because there will come a day when his mama's hugs aren't what he needs to comfort him. When he doesn't care if I look as he tries new things. When he doesn't point his finger at me and say "don" (don't) repeatedly when I'm not paying attention to him for some reason. And I don't want those things.

I want my tiny baby boy.