Grr. I haven't been very good about writing every day, and I'm sorry for thay. I'm pretty sure my best friend wants to flay me alive (hey, whatever gets her here). I've just been so exhausted lately. My anxiety and depression are struggling to take power again, and that makes me hyper emotional and constantly exhausted. Yesterday I cried at a commercial for glasses. I've been falling asleep with bub every night, and morning comes way too soon.
But I have to brag a little. A few nights ago, I wrote about how I snapped and made my baby sleep in his bed. For the first time, I've actually stuck to it. Every night, he has to go to sleep in his bed. He usually comes into my bed at some point in the night (last night I didn't even wake up for it) but he always has to start the night in his bed.
He's been killing it. Normally he needs tons of conversations, songs, and for me to pat his back. The past two nights, he hasn't even needed me to sit with him. We just pick out his jim jams, brush his teeth, then he gets in bed and "reads" his books. When he's done, we turn off the lights, I tuck him in, and he goes to bed. Just like that.
It's really bittersweet for me. He has always been independent and wanted his own space, except at bedtime, but it looks like that is coming to an end.
When we got up this morning, he started crying and it took me a full five minutes to realize he was in my bed, and probably at least another two to realize that's where that loud noise was coming from. So I got up, made myself a cup of coffee, got him two seperate breakfast foods (cereal and a muffin) and put a third in the oven (those pop open cinnamon rolls, because I'm a good mom), and tried not to fall asleep on the floor. I put on some Dinotrux and the cutest/worst thing happened.
Now, my mom was always very strict about me saying curse words. I wasn't allowed to say Beevis and Butthead. I had to call it Beevis and the Other Guy. I wasn't allowed to say pissed until I was sixteen. So when a huge spider web (shockarachnids) came up on Dinotrux and my beautiful two year old said "hoooooly crap" in his sweet little baby voice, I did not expect my mother to laugh as hard as she did.
After that we spent the morning playing The Floor is LAVA, which bub is terrible at. Then his dad came to pick him up, the police made a guest appearance, and I ate my weight in junk food after crying for about 30 minutes. Oh, and I caught Pokemon in a graveyard.
So it was a crazy day, and I'm just enjoying the fact that it will soon be over and I can get in bed and watch Sherlock and drink a grown up drink.
Stay safe out there y'all.
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