Being a boy mom is weird, especially because I'm doing it alone and I don't have a penis. I've heard girls are so much easier, and I'm guessing girl moms don't have to say things like these.
1. Don't growl at the toilet. Or lick it. Or dip your butt in it after you've peed. Or spit in it. Toilet is for going potty only.
2. No, I don't have a penis.
This is a sensitive topic around my house, because telling my son that I don't have a penis causes a huge meltdown from the small one, who insists that I do.
3. Mommy's face doesn't need to be run over with a car right now, thanks.
4. Stop pulling on your penis. That hurts mommy just to look at.
5. I had more, but I can't remember them. I say all kinds of weird shit on a daily basis that I never even fathomed that I would say.
Honestly I'm too tired to remember more, but leave a comment and let me know the weirdest thing you've had to say to your kid(s)!
This is so very true! Today Caylek walked up to me, sat on my foot, farted really loud on my foot, then got up and walked away. I was like "did you seriously just come over here to fart on my foot..?" and he just smiled and goes "uhhhh" then giggled and ran away like a maniac... such is the boy life.
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